I'd like to start a column of sorts entitled "Dumbass of the Day" where I will present to you my favorite stories of human emotion, tragedy, dumb luck, and outright stupidity.
These stories will tug at your heartstrings or, at the very least, make you feel so much better about yourself.
By the way, most of these stories will probably include the mention of Alcohol.
Today's story involves a lovely Iowa gentleman who decided at the tender age of 47 that it would be a good idea to try to lay a coin on a set of train tracks. Usually, the outcome is pretty neat. The coin gets stamped out to 3 times its normal size. Most people, however, tend to check the tracks to see how close they really are to the oncoming train:
Man Becomes One With Himself...and a Train
2 comments:
Uncle Tank says he knew this guy, says he went to school with him. They used to call him Bob the Slob or something like that, he was dribbling tobacco juice out of his mouth when he was telling me this story. (according to uncle tank since he's not burning the tobacco and lets it drip out of his mouth on a regular basis his cancer risk is alot lower) Anywho, UT says him and Bob used to go around and do the same thing when they were kids, but Bob kept screwing it up. One time he put a whole roll of pennies on the track and when the train hit it, half-deformed pennies went flying everywhere. A mutual friend actually got one lodged in his ear, and was forever nicknamed Lincoln-Listener, and classmates would ask him if the former president ever talked to him while he was sleeping. UT's not really surprised that Bob went this way. He says Bob was very heartbroken that he was never able to flatten a coin on the railroad tracks and kept saying "Daggummit, I'm gonna get one of these coins flattened if it kills me!" UT doesn't get that that's just a turn of phrase and now thinks that Bob was a psychic and wishes he had listened to him more. Anyways, I've gotta go, UT needs me to dump his tobacco-dribble bucket before it overflows.
Uncle Tank once told me that the reason he got fed up smoking anything and the reason he now just chews tobacco goes back to his hash smoking days when he just got tired of trying to light the corned beef.
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